What are you afraid of? Are you dealing with it well? Recently I was chatting with a friend of mine and she emphasised how she was so anxious and afraid to perform normal tasks, in fear of having stress problems. Another friend told me how he feared becoming like his father, who was cruel and unfair. Another person claimed how she feared swimming, because she didn’t know how to…. I, myself, have fears…some that I have conquered and others that I am yet to conquer..
This is a step by step guide to help you to find ways to take hold of your fears and of course, reduce them.
Be true to yourself
Sometimes when you fear things on a daily basis, you tend to forget who you really are, and base your life on fear, therefore forgetting what you’re really made of. As a result, you resort to over-thinking and over-analysing. Should this happen, just write a list of your strengths and weakness, your hobbies and dislikes, your achievements, your goals, amongst other factors. This will only help you see the real you, the person you really are, and not the person that fear makes you into. It is a small, but vital step. Recall who you are, and begin believing in yourself, tell yourself that ‘fear can’t put me down’. Be happy with who you are and at the same time accept yourself.
Whenever you happen to feel fearful, switch those thoughts over to what you are grateful for instead. For example, if you fear talking to certain people, tell yourself instead that ‘I am lucky and grateful to be able to develop my communication skills’, if you fear boat rides say ‘ I am grateful for how beautiful our waters are’ or if you fear death tell yourself ‘I am grateful to be healthy and living’. It will be hard, you might even think that this is a ridiculous idea, but mind you over time, this idea of switching fearful thoughts over to grateful thoughts will help you love and live the world in peace. It really helps.
Identify what causes the fear
You might fear something psychologically and it could range from ‘fear of swimming’,to , ‘fear of denial’. When the fear kicks in, you will be able to notice it, because your body will either fall prey to it or try and fight it off. You will know for sure. Identify the cause of your fear, for example, do you suddenly start getting anxiety when in a crowd of people? Perhaps you are afraid of being around people? When you identify what causes your fear to trigger, then you can progress by identifying how you react to it, and you can then change your thought process to positive whenever you encounter the situation.
Connect with people
Well, where did this one come from? What if you have fear of speaking to people then what? Hey, don’t worry, you don’t have to dive right in. Connecting with people helps you to learn about them, and when you ask questions, then you might learn new ideas and information from around . You will gain confidence when you communicate well with people and this gives you a chance to let you confidence outshine your fears, and also helps with learning experiences.
I would have easily placed this under ‘ Connect with People’, but it’s such an important topic that it had to have its own subheading. When you become mentally kind, sharp and considerate you are able to connect with people. It allows your maturity to shine, and you feel at ease when conveying your ideas and thoughts. You will see yourself speaking up more often. And when you become kind and sharp, automatically some of your fears will hold back, because your mind is becoming healthier. So, do you note advantages in that sense? Trust me on this one. With this step,your psychological fears, no matter what, will reduce and impact you less.
Challenge the fear
When you fear something, you will move away from whatever it is that you fear, or you will constantly place the fear in your mind. But, as soon as you know what the fear is, you need to challenge it. When you approach the idea of the fear, let’s say that you’re thinking about it, then you need to challenge your thoughts and tell yourself ‘It’s okay’. Start from your thoughts and venture out to action, for example if you have a fear of heights….think of it as ‘fun’ and go rock climbing. If you fear swimming in the deep end, get in that water, even if it means clinging on to a floating device. Once you challenge that fear and face it, you will feel stronger and your fear will begin to fade.
Don’t be idle.
There is a saying that goes, ‘An idle mind is the Devil’s workshop, and idle hands his tools’.When you are idle, you begin to feel worthless and negative vibes begin to hit you. You start to feel worn out and neglected and oh, that is the best time for your Fears to enter your mind, or if they are already there; they penetrate deeper. You do not want to be scared for the remaining of your life and neither do you want to sit around and do nothing. So, get out there, and do something with your life, even if it means reading books, travelling or doing community service. When told to face your fears, try not to be lazy and claim that you have no time..because it is mere excuses used by your mind to avoid facing fears. Being out there in the world, will help you work your way to conquering your fears, and evaluating them respectfully.
It can seem like worrying has nothing to do with fears, but let me give you my insight. In an ever growing world how can one not worry? When you worry or stress, you bring upon unnecessary fears to yourself. I knew someone who had a dozen fears engraved in her mind, and that resulted to her worrying a-lot. But by relaxation techniques, over a few months, she reduced her fears to a small percent.
When your heart starts to beat fast and you start worrying or panicking, take a deep breath at that moment and meaningfully say that “I’m okay”, “this is a learning experience”, “I do not fear”. And then keep your facial expressions relaxed so you can think with a calm mind. Meditating can really help you achieve relaxation. Meditate over time so you can get used to it, and do it more often. When meditating, put soothing music or positive affirmations, and meditate happily, not in a state of worrying how well you will mediate and so forth. The fear might insert itself in your mind during meditation, but simply tell yourself “it’s okay”, “I don’t fear it”.
Dance, do yoga, pray etc…and take action. Overall, find ways like the above, in order to fear and worry less.
Positive to negative
Change you thoughts to positive, because the more you think and imagine fearful experiences, then it’s more likely that you will attract more of those. Force your mind to think and speak positively. This will attract everything positive..even if it takes time.
Living fearlessly is something many people aspire to do, internally or externally.
The list of fears is endless, therefore I am not able to pinpoint on a group of fears, because every person is different. But the steps I have written out, definitely lead you to decrease fearing and it builds you up to becoming a fearless being. DON’T GIVE UP.